We'll Always Have Raindance: a Rumination on the Edge of Graduation

The baristas call me "book guy" now when I do homework. 

It's funny how some things stick with you. Rick remembered that the Germans wore gray while she wore blue. Tom Hansen remembered her heart shaped birthmark or cockroach shaped blotch on her neck. Me, well I can't remember the name of someone I just met ten seconds ago. 

No, seriously. Ask anyone that really knows me, and they'll be able to tell you of a time that I was out with them and they asked me who it was I just met.

However, I remember sending an email in May of 2016. I can take you to the spot in my office. I can tell you that it was sunny. I remember stressing about the first line of the email. 

"My name is Raymond Morris, and I want to be a filmmaker." 

I read back over this email just the other day, and it's incredible that they let me in the program. The entire email was written under the guise of asking for more information about the Raindance Postgraduate Program, but in reality it was my covert plea of "look, I know this dream of being a screenwriter is ridiculous, so put me back in my place please. I'm completely ill-equipped for the program, and this doesn't make any sense, so tell me how ridiculous it is." To my credit, I hid it a little better and said I didn't have the right major for an MA in Film, that I liked film a lot but didn't have a lot of experience, and I probably would not be eligible for any financial assistance since they were in the UK and I was in the USA.

Everything I pointed to as reasons for not doing it were really coded doubts: Background that isn't ideal was just me asking "what if I'm not good enough?" Me looking at money being as issue was me asking "what if the sacrifice isn't worth the price?" 

In other words: I was afraid to be me.  

Their response to my email was fascinating. Fully expecting a "yeah, maybe we aren't for you," they replied with one of the more empowering emails I've ever received. Where I found my background to be disqualifying, they found it to "make you a very interesting candidate." Where I found excuses for why it shouldn't work, they informed me that "dedication and involvement you're willing to put in" to the program are just as important as formal experience.

Their response challenged by asking me "are you willing to work for this?" "Are you ok with being pushed outside of your comfort zone?" 

Before now that answer was a resounding no. 

Filmmaking is what I wanted to do since high school, but never thought it was plausible, logical, or sane. I had a chance to have a one week opportunity of a lifetime in Chicago to film a short when I won a chance to be a part of the Sprite Fresh Films contest in 2011. I said no out of fear of not fulfilling expectations of others. 

This felt like my final chance to do what I had always wanted to do, so I remember going into the Skype call feeling like I had nothing left to lose. In doing so, this was the first time I was able to be 100% open and honest about who I was. 

And I got in the program. 

Raindance's approach is really unique in that it is done through negotiated learning (here is an explanation of what that is). This was strange to me. Sure, I had some confidence stemming from the fact I got in, but I could not shake this feeling that I faked my way in. Traditionally, I would have preferred a straight path with classes to take that checked all the boxes to "full-time filmmaker career." 

This isn't that sort of program. 

I wasn't assigned courses that guaranteed I could learn the secrets. My class wasn't a bunch of people with my skills and dreams. It was different. 

But, I was paired with an advisor and mentor that both cared deeply about me, but not just in the program. Professionally, they wanted to hear about my desire to do freelance videography and film editing. They wanted to know all about Red Turbo Jacket and my projects, offering support, suggestions, and ideas that helped me grow. Personally, they checked in on me. One Skype call, I remember talking about my family and how everyone was doing, like I was catching up with an old friend. And of course, academically, they pushed me to go deeper and continually learn not just about writing, but also about myself. 

I was able to choose courses that were outside of my program that would assist me in the program (I'm looking at you, Web Series Certificate class). My cohort? We had directors, writers, documentarians, with backgrounds in science, photography, and even video games (one of my favorite video games, to boot). Eclectic, international, and amazing. 

Through all of this, the pushing through dozens of screenwriting books and screenplays, hours of youtube interviews, and days upon days of working and reworking my own story ideas, I was not just learning about filmmaking, I was learning about myself. Damien Chazelle put it best when he said "if you're an artist, you want to draw from real life; you want to draw from experiences, emotion." This meant knowing who I am, and seeing how my insecurities, faults, personality, and other aspects were super clear in my own work. Facing those fears and learning how to get through them. 

The fact that every module (six of them) required a reflective report to be turned in helped with this. Not only did I learn, but I had to learn how to reflect on what worked and didn't throughout the process. This is something I catch myself doing in all aspects of life now. 

I came in with an idea for a feature film that I had struggled to work through for two years. Two years of grad school later, I'm on the cusp of completing the screenplay, complete with "dream" cast, pitch materials, and an action plan to actually get it made. 

As my time in the program comes to an end, what did I learn? Sure, formatting a screenplay, how to develop characters, study genres, write a feature, pitch the feature, research who to send it to and how, and developing a practical plan to push myself into the industry are all things I learned.

But honestly, I learned about me.

I was pushed out of my comfort zone so many times: reaching out to and interviewing the writer of one of my favorite Netflix shows, calling a working manager in Hollywood for an interview, reaching out to complete strangers for help with my projects and opening myself up to their criticisms of my project, and pitching a passion project to a room of students and professionals (and being told "yeah, I'd watch that. You should make this.). 

They say that the most successful writers are the most stubborn. The ones that push through, that keep writing, that collaborate and put themselves out there despite how many times it doesn't work out. The fears that kept me from doing this for so many years are definitely still there, but thanks the experience I had with Raindance, there's enough there to drown out the fears for the right amount of time. That acknowledging of my fear and the weirdness of myself and using it in what I make may make for some of the more interesting films I want to make. Embracing this unique journey and the excitement of the future are things I learned while learning film, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

It's funny how some things stick with you. The memories, the experience, and the inspiration I found through Raindance will stick with me for a long time. I found a deeper love for story and film, and better appreciation and heart for people, and I better yet, I found myself. 

My name is Raymond Morris, and I don't want to be a filmmaker: I am one.  

Escape or Engage

"So you enjoy living in the fake world over the real one?"

I was recently asked this after telling a gentleman about my love for film and plans to pursue filmmaking as a career in the future. 

This was an interesting statement. At first I was taken back, thinking he was telling me that what I do and what I want to do in the future was something that he found to be simple fantasy, a realm that, while cute, is inconsequential.

While that was my first reaction, the more I thought about it (in the 5 seconds in-between his statement and my eventual rebuttal), the more I realize that to an extent, he is correct. Part of what draws us into film and television is the idea of escapism, having a momentary respite from the grim or simply monotonous realities of the daily grind. Being whisked to galaxies far far away, checking in with our favorite group of youngsters in the '80s trying to save their friend from monsters, or even simply visiting the local pub in NYC to check in on how legen-wait for it-dary they are going to be (even thought we've binged every adventure 5 times through already); can be the very thing that can help us relax a little, laugh and cry, and be happy.

Entertainment, especially through the visual medium, can be much more than an escape from the real world via a fake one. It can do so much more. That is why my response to the gentleman was this: "No, I like to think I'm helping to capture the real world and helping many people engage with it."

To me, this is the power of filmmaking. I say to me, but in reality many others feel this way too. Take film critic/report/fantastic human Alicia Malone (if you are pressed for time, skip to 1:30. You should watch the entire thing though).

Or even my main man Christopher Nolan (start at 7:10).

There's a reason that a 2001 census found that 70,000 Australians listed "Jedi Knight" as their religious preference. There's a reason that protests or movements will use characters from movies as a default symbol for their struggle. Conversations are sparked and change begins when mainstream movies bring the conversation to the forefront.

Look at social media and how many times people share the Rocky Balboa speech because they need the inspiration for something they have, will, or are currently going through. Sometimes we learn more about people, cultures, struggles and triumphs through the lights on a movie screen, and we do not even realize it because we see it as "entertainment". This is not simple escapism; it is the opportunity to engage with something bigger than ourselves and find a way to help change our little corner of the world for the better.

This is how I feel about film, and this is why that is the hat that is my favorite. For Red Turbo Jacket Productions, our mission is to "tell entertaining stories that inspire conversation and change", and I fully believe that can be done. Next time you log on to Netflix, go to the cinema, or scroll through YouTube, I challenge you to look for something that does not simply give you an escape, but rather something that can help you engage and in turn, change the world for the better.

Need some suggestions? Here's a list that might help you out this October!

What's Your Next Flix: October

What are we watching tonight? 

This is a question we all ask ourselves at least one time a week. You can run to Twitter or Facebook for suggestions, but then you always get bad suggestions from the wrong people. You could just trust your streaming service of choice, but let's be real: you'll just go back to that one sitcom you enjoy binging all the time. 

Here's my attempt to help you out. This list will be put out monthly with up to 5 suggestions to stream on a variety of services and sites, giving you a wide variety of ideas for those times you get really stuck. This month we're rolling with some semi-scary picks (or are they pics? Shoot, dad joke. my bad) to help tickle your fancy. 

If you'd like to see a list from 2015, that is available HERE. And now, on with the most scary of all choices. 

The Tingler (1959, Not Rated, Daily Motion.com)

Yes, you read that correctly. This Vincent Price gem in which he discovers that there is a small creature that lives inside each human being that feeds on fear is called "The Tingler". That little "tingle" you feel when something is scary? Yep, that's the fabled "tingler" that resides inside you. The only way to keep it from growing and taking over completely, however, is by communicating your fear through yelling or gasping or making some sort of sound. 

A fun anecdote about this film: this came out in 1959, a time when theaters were experimenting with a variety of gimmicks to help enhance the theater going experience (this time brought about the birth of the 3D film). One of these gimmicks was the "Percepto!", little devices placed in each seat, row by row, in the theater that could be used to cause the seats to vibrate in a variety of ways (If you have gone to Disney and done the Bug's Life show in Animal Kingdom, it's very similar to what happens to the chairs in that). There's a point in the film where the tingler gets out in a theater, and all the lights in the theater go out, meaning the screen is now dark. All you can hear is the voice of Vincent Price yelling about where the tingler is. This is cheesy, until you realize that Price is simply instructing the theater operator (in reality) to turn on the seats in a certain order, giving the appearance of the tingler running in the audience watching the film. This resulted in many screams, shrieks, and a surprisingly fun time at the theater (read more about it here). 

I am not going to lie, this is a film that falls very comfortably into "bad b-movie/super cheesy" territory. In fact, it is the mayor of such a territory. There's a couple of reasons I include it on this list. First, it is a very good choice for kids that are looking for a scare but not a scarring. But second, the very concept of "the tingler" is an interesting study in communicating fear. The very premise of this creature's existence is thought provoking: it is inside all of us, and does not feed off of fear, but rather a refusal to communicate those feelings. In a strangely poetic and deep way, this film helps teach us that it is not only ok but healthy to let others see that we are afraid and that we should embrace it, but not to let that consume us. 

More on this same lesson later from a much higher quality film.

10 Cloverfield Lane (2016, PG-13, HULU)

"Monsters come in many forms" is the tagline of this film, and truer words could not be spoken. This is a loose relative of the Cloverfield film that came out nine years ago, and actually seems to have more in common with an episode of Twilight Zone than anything else. It's a very slow burn, but tension riddled burn that will have you on the edge of your seat every single time John Goodman comes on the screen. 

The story is simple: a Mary Elizabeth Winstead is in a car accident that may/may not have been cause by John Goodman, who saves her (or kidnaps?) and takes her to a bunker (or is it basically a prison?). While there, she meets John Gallagher Jr, and they find out that a nuclear war has broken out and this is the only place they can survive (or nothing has happened and this Goodman guy is bonkers?). 

That fine line between reality and falsehood, truth and "fake news" is one that is used to mess with your mind and build tension. If you know the truth and are given "facts" that are directly opposed to that, what would you do: conform or seek to defend the truth you know? This struggle for survival is what drives the film forward, and the ending is one that is full of twists and turns and is more than satisfying. This is a must see. Do it. NOW. 

Or not. I guess. 

Side note: this film was directed by Dan Trachtenberg who was simply a guy on YouTube that made an outstanding fan film that caught the eye of J.J. Abrams, who gave him a chance at this film. Amazing when you think about it.   

Nosferatu (1922, Unrated, YouTube)

It is a miracle that we even have this film today to make funny jokes about on Spongebob. This silent film was almost whiped off the face of the planet thanks to a lawsuit. To give you an idea of how old this film is, it was involved in a law suit with the widow of the author of Dracula. Yes, THAT book from 1897. Not a remake, mind you, the original. Here to tell you about how the entire film was almost erased from history, here's Turner Classic Movies. 

Hellboy would be the one to talk about a horror film. 

Anyways, the film today is a testament to the persistance and resilience of the human spirit. Nosferatu has been preserved and cared for and brought back to life, much like the vampire the film is about. While it is a German impressionistic silent film that may appear to be boring to many modern day viewers, it is required viewing in my eyes. Why? Well, you need an opportunity to grow patience, right? You need to see where Great Lakes Brewing Company got the name for one of their fall drinks? 

But in all seriousness, looking back to see how this film inspired many modern filmmakers through the use of lighting, jump scares, and story is a great thing to simply be aware of. Plus, it's available for free on YouTube, so what's there to lose? 

The Babadook (2014, R, Netflix)

Yeah, this sound is scary enough. Go ahead and listen to it. I'll wait.

Now, change your pee pants. I'll wait again. 
A mom finds a book called "Mister Babadook" in their home and reads it to her son for bedtime. Suddenly, strange events begin to transpire as the monster begins to take over their lives. This features amazing performances by the mom and son that will leave you saying "wow, those were amazing performances". You need to check it out, but remember: once you let him in, HE NEVER LEAVES.


I had a strange dream after watching this movie where the Babadook visited and haunted me all day long, which was not fun to try and sleep through. Even stranger is the fact a friend of mine had the exact same experience after watching the movie. So I will let you think about that fun haunting detail a little bit. 

Ok, back to it. 

As a horror/thriller, this film is great. It has a memorable monster, great performances from everyone, and memorable moments. What takes this Australian film to the next level for me is the underlying theme that is not overtly there upon first viewing. Unlike many scary movies that are all about the scares and little on the story, this one has a purpose for why it is scary, a purpose that challenges all of it's viewers to look at themselves and look for the Babadook within. 

Look, I will not spoil the film for you with particulars. Feel free to comment if you do not care about a spoiler, and I will message you with the details, ok? 

For those not wanting spoilers, I will simply leave you this: it tackles similar issues as "The Tingler". Yes, that's right. The super cheesy film that started this list is thematically similar to the film that will scare your pants right off of you. Watch it and you will see what I mean.  

That's the list for this month! What do you think? What's your favorite October films available to stream? If you'd like to have lists like this monthly, leave a comment, share, or retweet this post, and I'll take it as a yes! 

One Year and Many Movies Later

Here's a camera, because you know...film 

"My name is Raymond Morris, and I want to be a filmmaker." 

This is how I introduced myself in May of 2016 in an email to the Raindance Film Festival about their postgraduate degree program. This was also the first time I felt like I was embracing a "secret" side of myself. To this point in my life, I was very good at doing what seemed to be expected, etc. I was working as a youth minister but was beginning to feel led towards something different. Filmmaking was something that always piqued my interest, and having passed up a big opportunity once already, I felt like I had missed my chance. I was feeling the desire or need to pursue post-graduate studies, but that brought about a cross-road in my life. Go for a Master of Divinity and work in ministry for a while. Go for a Masters in film and let everyone know that you may want to do that instead.  

What to do. 

I looked ahead in my life and tried to think of what would happen if I clicked "send", and then again if I did not and continued with the status quo. What could I really learn from a program about movies? That's no way to go about this, right?  

I clicked send. 

Today is exactly one year since I had that interview to be in the Raindance Postgraduate Film Program. I will be transitioning out of youth ministry on December 31 to working full-time with videography/film for at least 1 year. (For more on that, look HERE) There's a lot that has changed, a lot that has been revealed to me, and a lot further to go. However, in that whirlwind of a year of postgraduate work, there have been three distinct things that I have learned about both film and life. 

1) "In the beginning was the Word." 

Before applying to the program, I had the opportunity to talk to Raindance founder Elliot Grove. We discussed a bit about the program, then he asked me for my story and what I wanted to do in the filmmaking world. Being a youth minister and lover of film, I explained my vision to make content that entertains and engages people, sparking conversation and change. He looked at me, and he simply said "You know, that's a very biblical concept. Isn't it John 1:1 that says 'In the beginning was the Word'? So see? Even Jesus knows the importance of starting with a good story. You just need to be bold enough to write it." 

While that is a bit out of context, he had a point. It starts with words, yes. I spoke many words over the years, words that expressed joy and hopes and dreams and goals and frustrations, yet many times my words would remain just that: words. Words are easily created, easily said, and easily lost if they remain hot air. Sure, we'd love to follow up on those words, but fear appears (probably in the form of a balloon touting clown) and shackles us from truly pursuing what we feel passionate and called to do. I can talk about how amazing my characters and story are going to be in the screenplay I write for my Master's, but unless those words are followed by work, they'll remain potential and not reality. We are afraid to mess up, afraid of a set back, afraid it won't be what we envisioned it would be. Winston Churchill once said that "success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." 

Messing up is fine. Failure is not the end of the world. That's why there's grace and forgiveness. Do your research, make sure what you're wanting to do is not TOO crazy or won't hurt yourself or others, talk to wise people, and at the end of the day, make a decision. It may end up being the best decision of your life. Or not. Either way, it's not the end. 

2) Different makes all the difference, unless it doesn't. 

The first day we met in the Google+ hangout for class, I was not sure what to expect. One by one my fellow cohort members arrived. Something became very clear very early on: the world has a lot of different kinds of people. I was in a room with people living in: Canada, Japan, UK, France, Austria, Africa, Greece, and then me in Vienna (not Austria), WV. To say it was a tad intimidating at first would be an understatement. As we began our conversations about why we chose this program and what our histories were, another thing became very clear very early on: we were all very similar. Through different accents, a love for film was ever present. Through different areas of emphasis (directing, writing, fiction, documentary), a passion for story was clear. The diversity of opinions and backgrounds is what intimidated me at the start and made me love the program even more as time went by. 

The diversity was important in researching my characters and learning what style I wanted my story to be as well. I mean, who wants to watch a movie they feel like they've already watched 100 times before? It takes work, research, trial, error, and perseverance to try and learn enough about different ideas and ways of working to make something new, fresh, and well, make it work! 

It's also something that made me look at the world around me differently. I thought "when was the last time I engaged someone in conversation that I knew thought differently than me about (CHOOSE TOPIC HERE)?" Is it possible to shield myself so much from different thoughts and opinions that all I would ever hear would be validation? Where is the richness in that? Where is the love and kindness in that sort of living? It is easy to complain about a different opinion. It can be uncomfortable to talk to and befriend someone that is very much different than you, at first. It was Abraham Lincoln that is credited with saying "I do not like that man. I must get to know him better." What if we made it a habit to, before complaining or yelling about a different side, we crossed over and got to know the person first? I think this is something that is modeled for us in the person of Jesus. Frequently, the people seen as dirty, outcast, different, wrong, etc were the first to have face to face conversations and interactions with Him. This is love. Helping others without regard for ourselves. Does it mean we are going to have to condone everything the person does? Nope, it does not. But if they need help, they need a friend, why should we deny any human that? Different people from ourselves make a difference in our lives, but they end up not being so different from you and I after all. 

3) While the story is important, the characters are the ones that drive it forward. And those characters need to be real. 

In the last module, I was tasked with looking deep into the psyche and histories of the characters I wanted to create. In the research I was doing on different filmmakers' processes for this step, I came across a quote from acclaimed director and object of my deep affections Christopher Nolan, where he said that he only allows himself to "think of the characters as real people" and that's it. You hang out with them, know how they'll talk, know that when situations arise how they will react. Real people, genuine people, are essential to making a film's story memorable and palpable to an audience. 

And real, genuine people are essential  to making my life memorable and palpable on a daily basis. Having a friend, or two, or twelve that you can lean on, have them lean on you. People that when placed in a situation you probably know how they'll react. People that you can sit and feel comfortable not saying anything with, or comfortable dubbing over the American football commentary with your own personal British football commentary. 

This goes the opposite direction too. It's easy to be locked away from the world and work tirelessly on whatever you're needing to work on, but if you can't let real people in once in a while and either help you through lending a hand or helping you breathe, or you can't break away for an afternoon or two minutes to call or text a friend or family to check in on them, your story will be lacking for it. Work time in to visit family. Let your mom know that you finally learned that separating you laundry cleans it better. Let grandma know that while you haven't found "that special someone" as of now, it's because nobody has been worthy to meet her approval quite yet. Text silly GIFs to a sibling. Rekindle a friendship that ended for dumb reasons (even if that dumb reason is you). Whatever.  

The point is, this life cannot be done all alone, and coming from a writer that is big. Since we supposedly like to booze it up and be depressed all alone and stuff. Right? (No, Mom, I'm fine, really. I am.) 

The last year has contained a lot of changes and good stuff for me (school work, making a short for a 100 year old record producer, Chicago, lots of caffeine), and I'm really excited to see what happens next. It isn't set in stone, and even if it were I'm sure God would find a way to break the rock in half. But the lessons learned both about film and life are going to stick with me for a long time (special thanks to all those teachers who knowingly or unknowingly helped with that: my advisory, mentor, Mrs. Morris, Alicia Malone because of her channel, awesome new book, and that one time she sent me the Spielberg book for free a while back, Trevor King, Austin James, just to name a few). 

So go out, find a great film and enjoy it with someone equally great. I think if we did that a bit more, we'd live in a better world, you know? 

Oh! Christopher Nolan is really really good at his job. This is your weekly reminder. 

What's Going On?

So for many of you that have stumbled upon this blog, welcome! If you don't know me, this will mean nothing to you. Feel free to hang out, have a coffee, read some other stuff. Whatever you'd like.

So this blog is meant to help catch you up to speed with what is happening in my life right now. Some big things, not big things, and some things in-between that. Instead of just type about it, I figured we could try something new for it. Something that gives a better picture. A motion pictures of it...

A video.

I made a video for it.

Anyway, check out the video below to see what's going on.

That was fun, eh? Check out the Red Turbo Jacket Productions Youtube channel, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook for more updates and content. Also, if you'd like to talk about how we can partner with your business, feel free to email redturbojacketproductions@gmail.com.

Never Forget: a Licensed Driver Later

Tough to imagine, right? It has been a full 16 years since that Tuesday in September occurred. Many things have changed since then, and we have certainly not forgotten much about it. Each year social media is flooded with the sentiments of US of Americans stating to never forget, to honor, and come together as a people.

Photo available at: http://prod-cdn-history-co-uk.s3.amazonaws.com/s3fs-public/the-days-after-american-flag-964_0.jpg?UZdXFv9nvUJPHkNPrIjqzIkqdvwCjeqC

I'm always fascinated to hear about where people were when they heard it, what they remember seeing, and what they thought or felt. For me, I was in fourth grade with a substitute teacher. We just got in from a morning recess to find the sixth grade class (which included my older brother) using our big new TV to watch the news coverage. Girls were crying, a guy in the back was saying how he thought we should just nuke 'em, and the rest of us kind of just stood there. Suddenly the issues at the football game we just played did not really matter. It was the first time I felt like that, even though I did not really understand what that was.

Maybe it was fear. Maybe it was grief. Perhaps anger? A strange concoction of all of those things, I'm sure. I remember going home that day and putting on all black simply because that's what I thought the army guys would wear when they helped with the rescuing of people that were trapped. I was certainly never going to forget that moment.

That moment in my history is a pivotal one, and it is the same for countless individuals as well. As we look back on it today, what do we take away from it? We say "never forget", and we do not, but does that necessitate never moving beyond the fear, grief, and anger we felt that morning? We talk about how we came together as a country in that time, but are we striving to do that each day in honor of that day? Another thing that stands out to me around this time each year is a couple of verses that, whether you follow a religion or belief system or not, I think we would all do well to remember.

Jesus (who regularly angered people because of what He said) said "But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you" (Luke 6:27-36 is the entire thing. Check it out). Do we live out of fear or out of love? Do you wish well upon people who may not know you, you perceive to be different from you, perceive to be your enemies, or even actually are your enemy? In a time where people are attempting to flee horrid life situations, do we begrudgingly hold on to negative feelings of prior experience and ignore the needs in front of us? We are tempted to never forget and never forgive, but we can never move in a unified and healthy manner if we never forgive.

Remember to honor, remember to cherish, but also remember to love. Never forget does not mean to never forgive. That's the thing that can unite us in a time of great divide. That's the thing we owe each other.

So today, go ask someone their story of this day, and get to know them. Find someone different in view, opinion, or life as you and ask them. You may find that you have more in common than you ever thought possible. And love always. 

Game Seven (or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Baseball)

This week I have been asked by many people (voices in my head), "Raymond, what do you think will happen in this World Series? What's your prediction?" Well, kind voice that whispers creepily at the worst moments, here's what I think.

I imagine the voice of Tom Hamilton or even Harry Doyle himself doing the commentary here.

Bottom of the 9th. 2 outs. The Cubs are up 4-3. Carlos Santana sings Oye Como Va to himself as he gets his lead on second base. Aroldis Chapman, now in his 4th inning of work, looks in to get the sign. The count is full on Jason Kipnis. John Adams is perched under the left field jumbo-tron leading the crowd with the beat of his drum. The crowd has turned it up to 11. The ground shakes all around Cleveland because of the noise (except in Browns stadium. It is impervious to excitement, anticipation, and any happiness whatsoever).

Aroldis kicks and fires a 103 mph heater towards home plate.

Kipnis swings and......

Miss.

Bill Murray rides a billy-goat out on the field to celebrate the end of the curse. Jake Arrieta rips out his own beard to prove his excitement! Joe Maddon looks at his team mobbing each other on the field and celebrating and thinks "why yes, my glasses do look hipsterish." Harey Carey bursts forth from his grave and wanders the streets whilst doing a Will Ferrell impression.

BUT WAIT A MINUTE!

The left field umpire races in to break up the camaraderie of the Cubs. It appears as though, YES! There's a man on the field! Charlie Sheen, the Wild Thing himself, is streaking on the field! Security is in pursuit. The Cubs are celebrating the breaking of their streak in the midst of an uglier streak, yet the umpire called time out before the pitch to Kipnis because of Charlie Sheen!

Kipnis gets back in to the box. Chapman, now disoriented because of the sight he saw (who blames him?), delivers another pitch. Kipnis doesn't miss this one. It goes deep.

Back.

Back.

Back.

Gone.

Ballgame.

Harey Carey returns to his grave. Animal Control catches Bill Murray on the goat and takes both of them to the pound. Bob Feller's statue completes his pitch. Ohioans everywhere wait in anticipation of Kipnis to take his talents to South Beach, and once he reassures them that he won't, they begin to celebrate. Chief Wahoo smiles even more. And even Corey Kluber manages to smirk. The Indians are World Series champs!

The most improbable end to an even more impossible series. No matter the outcome, it's been a wild and crazy World Series. Happy game 7, everybody! Here's to baseball.

(and go Tribe)