Another bigger question is "what movie do I watch to set the proper mood?" This is an important question, because depending on your audience and their scare limits, you may want to just stick with Charlie Brown instead of Jason Voorhees. And sometimes you're in the mood for something different than usual, and that can be as risky as trying to save an eclair from the trash.
What better way to help the masses than to make a user friendly scale with scary films? Based on the ever popular Department of Homeland Security Advisory System, here are different levels of fright from yours truly, ranging from the not too scary (green) to the "I may need to sleep with the lights on...when I get the nerve to sleep eventually" level (red).
First, a few rules about the list.
1) The "traditional" Halloween favorites have been all but excluded from the list. We are going to assume you know about Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, It's the Great Pumpkin, Scream, etc.
2) This list is definitely not exhaustive and will merely provide 1-2 films per level.
3) Lower tier movies have a max rating of PG-13, while the upper 3 levels will have a rating of up to R.
4) No touching of the hair or face.
So have no fear! (Or, prepare to embrace it!) Here's the "Raymond Frightful Film Guide"!
GREEN (LOW)
Monster House (2006, PG)
What I love about this is that it has enough scare factor in it to make you and your kids/siblings jump, but you won't have to worry about them not wanting to ever go into another house again (unless you would want to convince them that any stranger's house could come alive at any moment, then it may be effective). Kevin James, Nick Cannon, and John Heder all have hilarious cameos in it too. Definitely worth throwing in after watching a RED level movie, just to clear the system.
BLUE (GUARDED)
Corpse Bride (2005, PG)
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| "Excuse me: did you say this ISN'T Nightmare Before Christmas 2?" |
Why does this get a blue rating on the scale? I'll come right out and say it: claymation is just creepy as all get out. I used to have this recurring nightmare that involved a claymation rabbit that would crawl out of the tv and chase me up the stairs, and no matter what I did I COULD NOT GET UP THOSE STAIRS WITHOUT FALLING HELP MOM ITS BACK AGAIN.
Sorry about that.
So yes, Corpse Bride. This is Tim Burton's answer to Nightmare Before Christmas, or Tim Burton saying "Hey guys, you know that movie you think I directed but didn't? Well, here's one that's better!" Is it better? I'll let you decide. The story is solid, the animation in the underworld is creepy, and the way the plot is resolved is also quite chilling for a kids movie. It will make your skin crawl, your kids chuckle, and the songs are...well I hate musicals. Moving on.
YELLOW (ELEVATED)
Zombieland (2009, R)
So full disclosure: when the promos came out for this in 2009, I remember saying "that looks utterly idiotic. I wouldn't enjoy that." This was also at a time where my snack of choice was a spam and cheese sandwich. Safe to say I was wrong about a few things.
This movie is gory, ridiculous, yet refreshing in its take on the zombie genre. Even though it's a comedy or sorts, it in no way shies away from scaring you by the finale, the gore, and that opening title sequence. My gosh. If you make it through that without looking away, you should be good to go.
It stars Lex Luthor, Haymitch Abernathy, Gwen Stacy, and the girl from Little Miss Sunshine too, so there's that.
If you're looking for a nice movie with some nice scares, some laughs, and some good ole American blood 'n guts, check this one out. If someone you're with says "I'd rather watch a love story tonight", then pop this in the ole DVD player or get it on whatever device you can and watch the most heartwarming love story of a boy and his Twinkie. I'm serious.
Wake in Fright (1971, R)
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| Did you say...COFFEE? |
This is the one film I would be surprised anyone has seen. I didn't hear about it until last year when I read a list of "13 Essential Films Set in the Australia Outback" from Tribeca. The story is of a teacher in Australia in need of a break, so with an extended weekend decides to go on a road trip. He finds a small dive on his trip, and while there meets violent drunk men that push him to limits he never dreamed possible. It's scares come from an eeriness that's tough to explain. Imagine going to a small town and having everything go wrong, and the worse case scenario you think of happens. It's like that...except in the outback...and Crocodile Dundee isn't there to save you.
Most horrifying? The fact they ruthlessly kill kangaroos. Yeah. That happens.
ORANGE (HIGH)
Psycho (1960, R)
Yeah, this one. What is there to say about this classic that you don't know? How about this: when it was originally released, Alfred Hitchcock had an agreement with the theaters that nobody was to be admitted to the film late in order to keep the atmosphere of the theater at peak scare condition and to keep the twist in tact. Crazy, right?
I recently bought this on Blu-Ray and watched it and it freaked me out. It slowly builds, but from the moment you get to the Bates Hotel until the final stare, it will chill you to your core. What's amazing is how effective it is for the year it was made. This is a classic for a reason, and is a great launching point if you want to get into classic films (which I would highly advise you do).
Paranormal Activity 3 (2011, R)
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| Bet you didn't know the Peanuts gang ghosts were in this, did you? |
Kids, believe it or not, there was a time when the Paranormal Activity movies were good. The first installment had an incredible final 5 minutes. The second had weird scary stuff throughout. This third film combined the shock of film 1 and made it as frequent as the stuff in film 2, making this the best of the series.
Set as a prequel to explain some family history, this takes place in the 1980s and features 2 daughters (which, side note, scary movies with kids automatically become even scarier), their mom, and a step-dad that has no idea what he's getting into. The finale freaked me out so bad that my hands covered my eyes and I was yelling "NO NO NO" in a theater. I was saved by an even louder funnier man at the end of the row that yelled "WELL, THATS WHY I'M STAYING SINGLE" at the end. Watch it and you'll understand.
RED (SEVERE)
The Strangers (2008, R)
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| Carl, this is an intervention. We love you.. |
The scariest films are the ones that are most believable and play off of our fears. For instance, we are more scared of Dick Cheney with a shotgun than we are of Godzilla because we all have that one grandparent we know might accidentally mistake a cousin for a quail at a family dinner. It's closer to home. That's why a film with no cinematic soundtrack that's about humans terrorizing a couple in a cabin is the scariest of them all.
This film was the scariest movie I had ever watched until this year. A couple goes to a cabin (in a place that looks like it's out by my own grandparent's farm house) where they are visited by a trio or deranged silent killers that terrorize them all night long for no apparent reason. I say killers, but...
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS. SKIP AHEAD TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU WANT TO AVOID THIS POTENTIAL SPOILER. but...they only actually kill 1 person.
The masks are frightening. The music (or lack thereof) is haunting. Liv Tyler is adequate. Watch this with a friend, in the daylight, in the middle of a metropolis, then watch Hey Arnold for 5 hours afterwards.
The Babadook (2014, UNRATED)
Aussies know their stuff, man. Listen to this sound. Go ahead. I'll wait.
Now, change your pee pants. I'll wait again.
That sound is enough to make anyone wish they lived in the world of My Little Pony. I had nightmares for the first time since elementary school after watching this movie. Ask my roommate about the first time I watched it. To say I was a mess is an understatement. I was a mess before even seeing the creature in the film, it was that bad. What makes it even better, however, is the symbolism and greater message of the film. Unlike many scary movies that are all about the scares and little on the story, this one has a purpose for why it is scary. This is something that any film lover can appreciate.
A mom finds a book called "Mister Babadook" in their home and reads it to her son for bedtime. Suddenly, strange events begin to transpire as the monster begins to take over their lives. This features amazing performances by the mom and son that will leave you saying "wow, those were amazing performances". You need to check it out, but remember: once you let him in, HE NEVER LEAVES.
That's the list. What are some of your Halloween scary movie staples? Where would you put it in this label system? Did you check out any on the list you haven't seen before, if so what did you think? Share your thoughts on that here, and if you ever have a suggestion for future posts, I'd love to hear them!
